Change is Constant, Growth is Optional

I believe that each and every one of us has a unique, divine purpose to fulfill, a mission to accomplish. Our purposes' aren't the same and while some of us may have a similar purpose, we will probably fulfill that purpose in a different way from our peers. However, no matter what we do or how we do it, it is all, hopefully, going towards the same goal of changing the world for the better, for spreading love, for performing love and ridding the world of anything that even resembles hate. And no matter how small or big each contribution may seem, we are all needed to make the change happen and for the change to remain.

It should be no secret that we live in a society that is filled with hate--and that hate has manifested itself into racism, sexism, classism, heterosexism, etc. I've written about this before and truly believe that it is necessary that as a black woman who believes her purpose is to perform the radical act of walking in love, that I do my best to call out these forms of hate, to challenge, rebel and reject them and to stand with those who are oppressed. That, to me, is an important part of putting love into action, into more than a feeling. Loving someone, loving others, should lead to you caring about their well-being, wanting the best for them and being there for them when they need you.

Michael Brown, an unarmed, black 18-year-old was gunned down, shot and killed in Ferguson, Missouri by Darren Wilson, a police officer of the St. Louis County Police Department on Saturday, August 9, 2014. 

This was murder, it was police brutality, it was racism in action--it was hate in action. Michael Brown is not the first or the only one--every 28 hours a black person is killed by police, security guard or vigilante. At this time, people are protesting, organizing, petitioning, reporting, writing--they are doing all they can to fight against a system that is set up to hurt and oppress black people. I encourage you to discover the gifts and talents that God has blessed you with and use them to change the world in some way, to fight against racism and other forms of oppression, to fight against police brutality, to fight for and stand with Michael Brown and other black and brown people who are targeted by this system.

I believe that my gifts are writing, public speaking, performing spoken word and counseling. I intend to use these gifts to do what I can from where I am to create change. I stand with Michael Brown, with Ferguson, with black and brown people, with oppressed groups and communities and I cannot perform the radical act of walking in love if I do otherwise. With that being said, I leave you with this poem, the first meaningful poem that I have written in awhile:

To be black and conscious
in America
is to be in a constant state of rage,
James Baldwin was
and still is
right
--I'm becoming the angry black woman,
but please believe that my anger is justified and righteous
--we got black women being told that
their natural kinks and curls are not welcome in this world,
that they need to be tame and laid,
we got black people trying to erase away
the melanin in their skin 'cause the lighter than righter,
we reject ourselves and who we are without even knowing it
because we have been born into a world
that tells us we are wrong
that we do not belong
and they show us 'cause actions speak louder than words
--we got black men,
black boys,
black women,
and black girls
being killed for simply existing,
and if we persist to exist,
we will live long enough
to know that they love everything about us:
our language
our accents
our fashion
our music
our food
our culture
but hate us
we will live long enough
to realize
that the system works against
not for
us
and some of us are still drinking the sugarless Kool-Aid
and believe that none of this is about race
that racism isn't real anymore
and all of us who see it just have masochistic imaginations
along with a victim complex, 'cause black people just love
pulling the race card
when instead, we should be pulling our pants up
and stop pulling our skirts down while realizing that
"it's not all white people"
so be nice
and crack a few "nigga jokes" with your white friends
cause they're just jokes
and ignoring racism, not talking about racism
joking about racism
is how racism will end, after all
we're all just people
we all bleed red
and a white person's hurt feelings
is equal to black blood being shed on the streets
so don't you see, we're already in post-racial America!

Black men, dress up in your suit and tie
Black ladies, don't wear nothing above the thigh
and don't you dare twerk
don't you dare curse
don't you dare smoke
don't you dare be anything other than the perfect example
of black respectability
'cause if you don't, you deserve the removal
of your humanity and your death is on you.

Just be nice to the whites.
Be like them and be right.

But the joke is on us,
Black and brown people--the joke is on us,
'cause no matter what we do
we'll always be black in their sight
we'll always be what's not right in the picture
and if we're not slaves--in action and in mind,
we deserve to die.

My hope and prayer is that more and more people start tapping into their purpose, their talents, and gifts and use them to not only cause change, but to cause positive growth in themselves, others, and ultimately, the world.

Love,
Jenai H.

Walking in Love: My Life's Goal

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

I have been accepted into a Mental Health Counseling graduate program and will begin in the Fall of 2014. I have rarely questioned whether this is something I should or want to do--I feel that this is definitely the right path for me. And I feel that my overall purpose is connected to counseling, bu I also feel that my purpose is much bigger and goes beyond the counseling. Basically, it doesn't stop there.

I am starting to believe that my purpose is to walk in love.

For me, walking in love means to think and view people as God does and no matter how I feel, to treat people and to act in a loving, kind, considerate and respectful manner.

To elaborate, walking in love means that I:

• Don't tolerate people and their differences, but I accept them and welcome them with open arms. In my opinion, God's children are not meant to be tolerated, but accepted and welcomed. I do my best to open my mind and heart to the lives, opinions and emotions of others. To be empathetic--to at least attempt to understand.
• Actively reject everything that is not love. I don't do and will speak against oppressive systems such as racism, sexism, classism, ableism, heterosexism (this includes homophobia, transphobia, etc.)--I will use the gifts I've been blessed with to fight against these things and am currently working towards educating myself so that I can know exactly what these systems are, what they do and what they look like.
• Don't use the free will God gave me to take away the free will of others. I truly believe that your right ends where another person's right begins, and that we all should be allowed to make our own choices. Love frees, not controls. And if God allows us free will, who am I to take it away?
• Take responsibility for what I do and say and the effect that I have on the lives of others. I will acknowledge when I am wrong, apologize and take steps to correct myself. I strive to be a positive influence, a light and a blessing to those I encounter. The last thing I would want is to leave a legacy of broken hearts and spirits.
• Meet people where they are, meaning that I understand that they may not be in the same place I am, that it's okay and to find ways to serve them and meet their current needs.

I believe that this world is filled with a lot of hate and severely lacking in love. My ultimate goal is to do the completely radical act of walking in love, and to cause change in that way. My prayer is that my life is a testament to that. 

I've Got 99 Problems..and I'm the Main One!

Let me be real with you: I really believe that we live in a world that is severely lacking in love and that upholds a lot of twisted, unhealthy, harmful and downright oppressive ideas, beliefs and values.

As a world, we're sadly racist, sexist, classist, ableist, heterosexist...I could go on and on, but I truly feel in my heart that all of these oppressive systems are completely devoid of love, and since God is love, I have come to the conclusion that they are not of God. I truly feel that they are sin at its worst--not only do they harm the individual and make it extremely difficult to see and love God's children the way He does, but they harm the world. They harm everyone--they separate us from God, from each other and from the people God created us to be.

After coming to this conclusion, I decided that it's of utmost importance for me to live a life and be a person who challenges, rebels and rejects these oppressive systems. And I feel that the best way to do this is by walking in love (I'll explain in detail how I go about doing that in another post).

But even with all of this in mind and heart, I still catch myself thinking, being and doing problematic things. Sometimes, I think back and realize that something I said in a conversation was sexist or that a thought I had was classist and I have to call myself out, acknowledge my privilege and figure out ways that I can educate myself so that I can move through the world without thinking, being and doing those problematic things again. I think about what I can do to work towards change and walk in love instead of hate.

Sometimes, my privilege blinds me (and that's no excuse because I know better) and causes me to say, think or do ignorant things without considering the reality we all live in and how my privilege in certain areas affects my views and experiences.

I spend a good amount of time calling myself out and acknowledging that I have a long way to go.

If I'm being real with you, I have to say that sometimes--I'm problematic. I do, think and feel problematic things and the reality is that we all are problematic to some extent. It's just a reminder that we all have been raised in a toxic, problematic society.

And in this problematic world full of -isms, we will always be a work-in-progress, and that's okay--just don't give in to this world. Keep walking in love. Keep challenging, rebelling and rejecting. Call yourself out and open yourself to being called out. Listen to what others have to say. Educate yourself and allow yourself to be educated. This is a process.

I intend to continue to do these things and I know that I am a never-ending work-in-progress, but that's better than never progressing at all.