Change is Constant, Growth is Optional

I believe that each and every one of us has a unique, divine purpose to fulfill, a mission to accomplish. Our purposes' aren't the same and while some of us may have a similar purpose, we will probably fulfill that purpose in a different way from our peers. However, no matter what we do or how we do it, it is all, hopefully, going towards the same goal of changing the world for the better, for spreading love, for performing love and ridding the world of anything that even resembles hate. And no matter how small or big each contribution may seem, we are all needed to make the change happen and for the change to remain.

It should be no secret that we live in a society that is filled with hate--and that hate has manifested itself into racism, sexism, classism, heterosexism, etc. I've written about this before and truly believe that it is necessary that as a black woman who believes her purpose is to perform the radical act of walking in love, that I do my best to call out these forms of hate, to challenge, rebel and reject them and to stand with those who are oppressed. That, to me, is an important part of putting love into action, into more than a feeling. Loving someone, loving others, should lead to you caring about their well-being, wanting the best for them and being there for them when they need you.

Michael Brown, an unarmed, black 18-year-old was gunned down, shot and killed in Ferguson, Missouri by Darren Wilson, a police officer of the St. Louis County Police Department on Saturday, August 9, 2014. 

This was murder, it was police brutality, it was racism in action--it was hate in action. Michael Brown is not the first or the only one--every 28 hours a black person is killed by police, security guard or vigilante. At this time, people are protesting, organizing, petitioning, reporting, writing--they are doing all they can to fight against a system that is set up to hurt and oppress black people. I encourage you to discover the gifts and talents that God has blessed you with and use them to change the world in some way, to fight against racism and other forms of oppression, to fight against police brutality, to fight for and stand with Michael Brown and other black and brown people who are targeted by this system.

I believe that my gifts are writing, public speaking, performing spoken word and counseling. I intend to use these gifts to do what I can from where I am to create change. I stand with Michael Brown, with Ferguson, with black and brown people, with oppressed groups and communities and I cannot perform the radical act of walking in love if I do otherwise. With that being said, I leave you with this poem, the first meaningful poem that I have written in awhile:

To be black and conscious
in America
is to be in a constant state of rage,
James Baldwin was
and still is
right
--I'm becoming the angry black woman,
but please believe that my anger is justified and righteous
--we got black women being told that
their natural kinks and curls are not welcome in this world,
that they need to be tame and laid,
we got black people trying to erase away
the melanin in their skin 'cause the lighter than righter,
we reject ourselves and who we are without even knowing it
because we have been born into a world
that tells us we are wrong
that we do not belong
and they show us 'cause actions speak louder than words
--we got black men,
black boys,
black women,
and black girls
being killed for simply existing,
and if we persist to exist,
we will live long enough
to know that they love everything about us:
our language
our accents
our fashion
our music
our food
our culture
but hate us
we will live long enough
to realize
that the system works against
not for
us
and some of us are still drinking the sugarless Kool-Aid
and believe that none of this is about race
that racism isn't real anymore
and all of us who see it just have masochistic imaginations
along with a victim complex, 'cause black people just love
pulling the race card
when instead, we should be pulling our pants up
and stop pulling our skirts down while realizing that
"it's not all white people"
so be nice
and crack a few "nigga jokes" with your white friends
cause they're just jokes
and ignoring racism, not talking about racism
joking about racism
is how racism will end, after all
we're all just people
we all bleed red
and a white person's hurt feelings
is equal to black blood being shed on the streets
so don't you see, we're already in post-racial America!

Black men, dress up in your suit and tie
Black ladies, don't wear nothing above the thigh
and don't you dare twerk
don't you dare curse
don't you dare smoke
don't you dare be anything other than the perfect example
of black respectability
'cause if you don't, you deserve the removal
of your humanity and your death is on you.

Just be nice to the whites.
Be like them and be right.

But the joke is on us,
Black and brown people--the joke is on us,
'cause no matter what we do
we'll always be black in their sight
we'll always be what's not right in the picture
and if we're not slaves--in action and in mind,
we deserve to die.

My hope and prayer is that more and more people start tapping into their purpose, their talents, and gifts and use them to not only cause change, but to cause positive growth in themselves, others, and ultimately, the world.

Love,
Jenai H.

Yes, You Can!

As I look over the last few months--and even the last 2 years, I realize that I've been slowly, but surely moving out of my uncomfortable comfort zone.

You're probably thinking: "What is an uncomfortable comfort zone?"  And even if you're not, I'm still gonna tell you anyway, lol.

The "Uncomfortable Comfort Zone" is a termed coined by Natalie Lue, who runs a successful blog called Baggage Reclaim--which Natalie describes as a "tongue-in-cheek guide created to discuss the complexities of being a woman, the choices they make, and the dodgy men that add to their load." 

Now, back to uncomfortable comfort zone: The uncomfortable comfort zone is a zone that you're very familiar with--it's something you know, something you're used to--but this zone causes you a lot of pain, anxiety, and stress. Even though you're somewhat comfortable because you're familiar with it, you're also really uncomfortable because your comfort zone is actually very unhealthy and causes a lot of discomfort. 

I've been in an uncomfortable comfort zone for a long time--my uncomfortable comfort zone is me being in toxic relationships/friendships, hiding who I am in an attempt to please others, not being honest with others about my thoughts, feelings, needs and wants so that I can "keep the peace" and other unhealthy behaviors and thinking patterns. But I think I'm finally taking steps (baby steps, but steps nonetheless) out of it and it's ridiculously scary because the things I feared are happening or may happen, but I'm learning that it's not the end of the world--in fact, it may be the beautiful beginning to a new world in which I am happy, healthy and loving myself the way God does.

So, I challenge you: Take that first step--tell that man/woman who doesn't treat you the way God does to get the steppin', block those toxic people from your social media and from calling you--don't allow them access to you and your life anymore, wear that outfit that people said you "shouldn't" wear, dance in public for the first time--just do the things that you know are good for you but you're too scared to do because it's not what you're used to. 

If you're like me and afraid that the world will end if you step out of your uncomfortable comfort zone, I'll leave you with a poem from poet Nayyirah Waheed:

"I don't pay attention to the

world ending.

It has ended for me

many times

and began again in the morning."

Love,

Jenai H.