Change is Constant, Growth is Optional

I believe that each and every one of us has a unique, divine purpose to fulfill, a mission to accomplish. Our purposes' aren't the same and while some of us may have a similar purpose, we will probably fulfill that purpose in a different way from our peers. However, no matter what we do or how we do it, it is all, hopefully, going towards the same goal of changing the world for the better, for spreading love, for performing love and ridding the world of anything that even resembles hate. And no matter how small or big each contribution may seem, we are all needed to make the change happen and for the change to remain.

It should be no secret that we live in a society that is filled with hate--and that hate has manifested itself into racism, sexism, classism, heterosexism, etc. I've written about this before and truly believe that it is necessary that as a black woman who believes her purpose is to perform the radical act of walking in love, that I do my best to call out these forms of hate, to challenge, rebel and reject them and to stand with those who are oppressed. That, to me, is an important part of putting love into action, into more than a feeling. Loving someone, loving others, should lead to you caring about their well-being, wanting the best for them and being there for them when they need you.

Michael Brown, an unarmed, black 18-year-old was gunned down, shot and killed in Ferguson, Missouri by Darren Wilson, a police officer of the St. Louis County Police Department on Saturday, August 9, 2014. 

This was murder, it was police brutality, it was racism in action--it was hate in action. Michael Brown is not the first or the only one--every 28 hours a black person is killed by police, security guard or vigilante. At this time, people are protesting, organizing, petitioning, reporting, writing--they are doing all they can to fight against a system that is set up to hurt and oppress black people. I encourage you to discover the gifts and talents that God has blessed you with and use them to change the world in some way, to fight against racism and other forms of oppression, to fight against police brutality, to fight for and stand with Michael Brown and other black and brown people who are targeted by this system.

I believe that my gifts are writing, public speaking, performing spoken word and counseling. I intend to use these gifts to do what I can from where I am to create change. I stand with Michael Brown, with Ferguson, with black and brown people, with oppressed groups and communities and I cannot perform the radical act of walking in love if I do otherwise. With that being said, I leave you with this poem, the first meaningful poem that I have written in awhile:

To be black and conscious
in America
is to be in a constant state of rage,
James Baldwin was
and still is
right
--I'm becoming the angry black woman,
but please believe that my anger is justified and righteous
--we got black women being told that
their natural kinks and curls are not welcome in this world,
that they need to be tame and laid,
we got black people trying to erase away
the melanin in their skin 'cause the lighter than righter,
we reject ourselves and who we are without even knowing it
because we have been born into a world
that tells us we are wrong
that we do not belong
and they show us 'cause actions speak louder than words
--we got black men,
black boys,
black women,
and black girls
being killed for simply existing,
and if we persist to exist,
we will live long enough
to know that they love everything about us:
our language
our accents
our fashion
our music
our food
our culture
but hate us
we will live long enough
to realize
that the system works against
not for
us
and some of us are still drinking the sugarless Kool-Aid
and believe that none of this is about race
that racism isn't real anymore
and all of us who see it just have masochistic imaginations
along with a victim complex, 'cause black people just love
pulling the race card
when instead, we should be pulling our pants up
and stop pulling our skirts down while realizing that
"it's not all white people"
so be nice
and crack a few "nigga jokes" with your white friends
cause they're just jokes
and ignoring racism, not talking about racism
joking about racism
is how racism will end, after all
we're all just people
we all bleed red
and a white person's hurt feelings
is equal to black blood being shed on the streets
so don't you see, we're already in post-racial America!

Black men, dress up in your suit and tie
Black ladies, don't wear nothing above the thigh
and don't you dare twerk
don't you dare curse
don't you dare smoke
don't you dare be anything other than the perfect example
of black respectability
'cause if you don't, you deserve the removal
of your humanity and your death is on you.

Just be nice to the whites.
Be like them and be right.

But the joke is on us,
Black and brown people--the joke is on us,
'cause no matter what we do
we'll always be black in their sight
we'll always be what's not right in the picture
and if we're not slaves--in action and in mind,
we deserve to die.

My hope and prayer is that more and more people start tapping into their purpose, their talents, and gifts and use them to not only cause change, but to cause positive growth in themselves, others, and ultimately, the world.

Love,
Jenai H.

Walking in Love: My Life's Goal

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

I have been accepted into a Mental Health Counseling graduate program and will begin in the Fall of 2014. I have rarely questioned whether this is something I should or want to do--I feel that this is definitely the right path for me. And I feel that my overall purpose is connected to counseling, bu I also feel that my purpose is much bigger and goes beyond the counseling. Basically, it doesn't stop there.

I am starting to believe that my purpose is to walk in love.

For me, walking in love means to think and view people as God does and no matter how I feel, to treat people and to act in a loving, kind, considerate and respectful manner.

To elaborate, walking in love means that I:

• Don't tolerate people and their differences, but I accept them and welcome them with open arms. In my opinion, God's children are not meant to be tolerated, but accepted and welcomed. I do my best to open my mind and heart to the lives, opinions and emotions of others. To be empathetic--to at least attempt to understand.
• Actively reject everything that is not love. I don't do and will speak against oppressive systems such as racism, sexism, classism, ableism, heterosexism (this includes homophobia, transphobia, etc.)--I will use the gifts I've been blessed with to fight against these things and am currently working towards educating myself so that I can know exactly what these systems are, what they do and what they look like.
• Don't use the free will God gave me to take away the free will of others. I truly believe that your right ends where another person's right begins, and that we all should be allowed to make our own choices. Love frees, not controls. And if God allows us free will, who am I to take it away?
• Take responsibility for what I do and say and the effect that I have on the lives of others. I will acknowledge when I am wrong, apologize and take steps to correct myself. I strive to be a positive influence, a light and a blessing to those I encounter. The last thing I would want is to leave a legacy of broken hearts and spirits.
• Meet people where they are, meaning that I understand that they may not be in the same place I am, that it's okay and to find ways to serve them and meet their current needs.

I believe that this world is filled with a lot of hate and severely lacking in love. My ultimate goal is to do the completely radical act of walking in love, and to cause change in that way. My prayer is that my life is a testament to that. 

True Life: I'm Simple...and Easy

I've spent the majority of my life believing that the perfect woman was mysterious, complex, hard to understand, difficult to be close to, distant...she left something to the imagination. In essence, she was complicated. 

I like to think of her as The Hard to Get Woman, and for most of my 22 years, I have tried to be her, because even though people seemed to struggle to know and be close to her, the few who managed to do so loved her and those on the outside desired, admired, valued and respected her. And I wanted to be loved, valued, desired, respected and admired. 

The Hard to Get Woman can be seen in movies, TV shows, and you often hear men go on and on about wanting to chase a woman and have her not be "easy." As a TV Junkie, a person who used to be an avid reader of romance novels, and a woman who used to really want to be every boy's dream girl, it wasn't hard for me to develop the idea that The Hard to Get Woman was the perfect woman. 

But what I've finally come to realize and accept is that I'm not The Hard to Get Woman, that I'll never be her and that I don't have to be her in order to be loved, valued, respected, desired and admired.

The truth is, I'm simple. I'm easy. I'm a simple, easy woman.

I am an open book with a few hidden pages that only a special few are privy too. To be in my life isn't a hard or strenuous thing to do--if I want you to be there, of course. And if I want you to be in my life, you'll know it. If I like you, you'll know it. There are no guessing games with me. There's no wondering. I tend to lay my cards out on the table. I like to share who I am and my heart with those around me. I feel like it's part of my purpose to be open and to share the love inside of me--the unconditional, overflowing, endless love.

Me being simple and easy to understand makes that even more possible--people struggling to know and get close to me hinders my goal to love freely while providing healthy and good company and providing comfort. I can't achieve that by being an enigma.

I am simple--like God's love, I am easy to understand and open to all.

This is not to say that everyone is allowed into my private space and that any man can be MY man, but what it does mean is that if I want him like he wants me, he won't have to jump through hoops. There won't be any chasing necessary because I will be meeting him halfway. He won't have to spend forever trying to figure me out because I will be more than willing to let him in and help him to understand. Our love will be simple and easy--boring maybe, but beautiful and stable and comforting. It means that I will welcome people into my life with open arms, that they will always know where they stand with me, that there will be comfort and stability and a mutual understanding. 

People like to say that the only things and people of value are those people and things that are hard to get, that must be earned through works and struggle.

But the most valuable thing (in my humble opinion) is God's unchanging, unwavering, and unconditional love, a love that is open to all, simple, easy to understand, a love that isn't earned by works or struggle, that isn't hard to get but completely and utterly free--I like to think that I am like that. 

I am like God's love.